So if you’ve been on the internet at all today, you’ve probably come across this video of a guy falling the entire way across a gym:
What a video to breakdown. I don’t even really know where to start. First let’s look at our man here, a chubby ginger guy in a polo and khakis. That doesn’t really scream gym class hero. But he decides to try and break down some stereotypes today and decides he’s going to be the bowler (I think that’s what they call it) in this inside game of cricket. Rule #1 of any non-organized athletic event: know your limits. Not being able to take two running steps in a row probably excludes you from most sports.
Not to mention, what was the ideal scenario here? What’s the perfect outcome? You have a group of teenage girls standing in the back corner, just sitting ducks. There are tables and chairs all over the place. Idk what kind of every child left behind type of school(?) this is but this setup screams gym teacher who was hungover from too many Bud Heavies and didn’t feel like making a lesson plan for the day.
But all of this aside, this game goes off with out a hitch if it weren’t for big ginge’s incredibly terrible coordination. I mean I can’t imagine what happened in the short second the camera pans away, but it looks like prime James Harrison lit him up from behind because all of the sudden my man is on skates on his way across the room. And what a comically long fall! Including the crowhop, I’m counting TEN STEPS that he got in before he goes head first into the wooden stage. I mean the legs kicking out at a wild angle is just laugh out loud funny. He had a full 3 seconds of falling where he could have just gone down and probably got a mildly embarrassing slide, but no, he thought he could pull himself out of his tailspin and ended up noggin down in some timber.
Maybe the worst part is we almost had a hero. The batter in the pink turns just in time to see a man hurtling head first towards sudden CTE, but rather than getting in front of him and trying to hold him up the kid gives a one-armed olay that Nnamdi Asomugha would be proud of. The thought was there, but the effort definitely wasn’t. Can’t say I blame him though, that man was on a collision course with that wall the second he decided he was going to try something remotely athletic. Grab some ice, walk it off, and maybe spend a little more time in the library next time big guy.
The Bullpen 